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Proof of Life
Mar. 19th, 2021 10:59 pmBefore I say anything else... congratulations to shadowkat on her vaccination. I hope to join you soon.
It's been a little over six months since my last post on dreamwidth. It was the last days of the Trump administration, and I was simply burned out on social media. I didn't feel I was contributing anything useful to the conversation--whether it was discussing pop culture, politics or my own personal problems. I still feel that way (somewhat), but shutting down completely isn't really a solution either.
But even though it's not very constructive, this is kind of what I do. When faced with roadblocks, I tend to tuck my head in, square my shoulders, and plow through my daily activities, shutting out the things I can't control. On that list: I still haven't completely sorted out my mother's estate; my wife's gastrointestinal problems are chronic (and a constant source of worry); I have paperwork from a nuisance lawsuit piled up in my living room; and my job is devolving into a constant source of irritation.
I am extremely busy, but I feel like I'm standing still.
It's not all bad. D. received his first merit badge as a Boy Scout and I watch him run around and play with his buddies at the weekly Scout meetings. With spring approaching, the three of us have been taking walks through the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens. I'm grateful that we enjoy each other's company. (That's not true for all families.)
But the wheels are still spinning and I'm going nowhere.
I can't say I see a way out of my... rut? (It feels more serious than a rut, though.) As I said, there are certain factors out of my control. But maybe if I talk about it a little more, air out my problems, maybe I can get a better grip on things. (I hear there's a place where you write this stuff down...)
Take care, everybody. I'll be back soon.
It's been a little over six months since my last post on dreamwidth. It was the last days of the Trump administration, and I was simply burned out on social media. I didn't feel I was contributing anything useful to the conversation--whether it was discussing pop culture, politics or my own personal problems. I still feel that way (somewhat), but shutting down completely isn't really a solution either.
But even though it's not very constructive, this is kind of what I do. When faced with roadblocks, I tend to tuck my head in, square my shoulders, and plow through my daily activities, shutting out the things I can't control. On that list: I still haven't completely sorted out my mother's estate; my wife's gastrointestinal problems are chronic (and a constant source of worry); I have paperwork from a nuisance lawsuit piled up in my living room; and my job is devolving into a constant source of irritation.
I am extremely busy, but I feel like I'm standing still.
It's not all bad. D. received his first merit badge as a Boy Scout and I watch him run around and play with his buddies at the weekly Scout meetings. With spring approaching, the three of us have been taking walks through the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens. I'm grateful that we enjoy each other's company. (That's not true for all families.)
But the wheels are still spinning and I'm going nowhere.
I can't say I see a way out of my... rut? (It feels more serious than a rut, though.) As I said, there are certain factors out of my control. But maybe if I talk about it a little more, air out my problems, maybe I can get a better grip on things. (I hear there's a place where you write this stuff down...)
Take care, everybody. I'll be back soon.
