Return to Putnam Valley

[cjlasky7]

My son and I are back at our semiannual home away from home in Putnam Valley. It's the first time back to the campsite since the end of March. That trip was interrupted when my mother was admitted to the hospital back in Brooklyn. Needless to say, a lot of things have changed since then.

It has not been a happy seven months. My mother's illness and sorting out her financial affairs have exacerbated tensions within my family. To be honest, those tensions were always there, but as long as we saw each other on social occasions and didn't have to deal with vital matters, we could ignore them. Certain relationships are strained if not ruined.

I am now on the other side of 60, and mortality is on my mind more often. (Given that I am now the "old man" of the family, that's probably natural.) I wonder if I've lived my best life, if I haven't squandered my chance to write something substantial. I'm starting to brood like Angel, a development that terrifies me no end.

Still...

My son is playing happily with his Cub Scout buddies. His grades could be better, but we'll deal with that back home. This trip is about running with the pack and having fun. I look at him and at least I know I've done one thing right.

Be back in NYC tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing "Parasite" with shadowkat next week.

Take care, everybody.

Comments

[shadowkat]

They do like to schedule that trip during the coldest weekend in November, don't they?
Although possibly warmer than last weekend? No, it was supposed to be really cold today.

Well, I hope it is warmer and nicer than last year. I think you have snow?

I'm learning not to compare my life to anyone's or just see it in relation to where I've been and where I am now, and what I survived and did in between. We really don't have a great deal of control over what life throws at us, good or bad or inbetween, just in how we react to it -- and even that I've discovered is rather limited.

So much of it is just dumb luck. I was reading John Scalzi's post prior to yours, it was just two posts before yours on my correspondence feed. And it's hard not to envy the man - he's a successful writer, with a large house on lots of land, cats, a daughter, a wife who takes care of everything for him, travel and social interactions through what he loves...but I wouldn't be happy in his life. My super-power and his are different. We all have different super-powers and they lead us...where they will, I think. Sometimes I wish I had more control over where they lead me or which super-power I got. Personally? I wanted the ability to teleport. This analytical/empathy thing is for the birds.