Visiting My Parents
Jan. 20th, 2023 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cjlasky7A fairly eventful New Year so far.
The nuisance slip-and-fall lawsuit--the one that has had a pile of paperwork stacked up in my bedroom--has finally been settled by our insurance company. I don't expect our rates to spike (the settlement on our end wasn't substantial), so after years of delays, this mess has been cleared off the table. Whew.
Speaking of endless paperwork: I am almost, ALMOST finished settling my mother's estate. Nearly all the assets have been distributed, and almost all the bills have been paid--with one exception. I'm in no rush to pay that bill, though--if I ever do. (If a collection agency comes calling some time in the future, fine...I'll deal with it then.)
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Right after New Year's, I went out to New Jersey to visit my parents at the cemetery. They have adjoining plots provided by the Oddfellows Lodge, purchased, I think, when my sister and I were kids. Even though they died more than twelve years apart, I got my mother's headstone from the same monument company as my dad's. (They look like a matched set.)
I drove out to the cemetery on the 2nd, a holiday Monday. (Got lost on the way, of course.) I was expecting a horde of visiting relatives...but the cemetery was almost deserted. So I walked along the pathways toward my parents' graveside, passing row after row of silent tombstones. (Yes, it was quite eerie.)
You know, I always found it a little weird when people talked to their relatives' graves in the movies. Yes, I realize it's supposed to be an emotional release, but I never really believed it would do any good for the visitor. Well, this time I gave it a try. And...it helped. I'd been carrying around all this tension from the responsibility of tending to my mother's finances, and I could finally let it go. (With that one exception, of course.)
Maybe, now that I can see my way clear of my role as de facto executor, I can focus on building for the future--not just for my own child, but helping my sister and my niece and my grand nephews. (And--somewhere down the line--maybe my nephew too. But that's not going to be easy.)
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Hope everything is going okay for everybody out there. (I might post something pop culture-ish soon, but I haven't really been in the mood.) Take care.
The nuisance slip-and-fall lawsuit--the one that has had a pile of paperwork stacked up in my bedroom--has finally been settled by our insurance company. I don't expect our rates to spike (the settlement on our end wasn't substantial), so after years of delays, this mess has been cleared off the table. Whew.
Speaking of endless paperwork: I am almost, ALMOST finished settling my mother's estate. Nearly all the assets have been distributed, and almost all the bills have been paid--with one exception. I'm in no rush to pay that bill, though--if I ever do. (If a collection agency comes calling some time in the future, fine...I'll deal with it then.)
*********************
Right after New Year's, I went out to New Jersey to visit my parents at the cemetery. They have adjoining plots provided by the Oddfellows Lodge, purchased, I think, when my sister and I were kids. Even though they died more than twelve years apart, I got my mother's headstone from the same monument company as my dad's. (They look like a matched set.)
I drove out to the cemetery on the 2nd, a holiday Monday. (Got lost on the way, of course.) I was expecting a horde of visiting relatives...but the cemetery was almost deserted. So I walked along the pathways toward my parents' graveside, passing row after row of silent tombstones. (Yes, it was quite eerie.)
You know, I always found it a little weird when people talked to their relatives' graves in the movies. Yes, I realize it's supposed to be an emotional release, but I never really believed it would do any good for the visitor. Well, this time I gave it a try. And...it helped. I'd been carrying around all this tension from the responsibility of tending to my mother's finances, and I could finally let it go. (With that one exception, of course.)
Maybe, now that I can see my way clear of my role as de facto executor, I can focus on building for the future--not just for my own child, but helping my sister and my niece and my grand nephews. (And--somewhere down the line--maybe my nephew too. But that's not going to be easy.)
**************
Hope everything is going okay for everybody out there. (I might post something pop culture-ish soon, but I haven't really been in the mood.) Take care.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 02:37 pm (UTC)I didn't want to get into specifics above, because it's...involved, but here goes:
I do not have a "backyard". Behind my house is a shared driveway that extends three quarters of an avenue to main entrance/exit on 12th Avenue. It is "shared" by families with homes on 77th and 78th streets (including mine).
Some years ago (I forget exactly when), the plaintiff in this lawsuit slipped and fell in the shared driveway. Please note: this did not happen anywhere near my house. But the plaintiff sued EVERYBODY who owned a house connected to the shared driveway for neglecting to do proper maintenance on the driveway.
I will not debate the merits of this case. (Not here at any rate.) I left that up to the insurance company. I only know that I was "gifted" with thousands of pages of paperwork with a long list of defendants. Forests died for this, and it just dragged on for years.
I'm glad it's over.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 02:52 pm (UTC)Sigh. Personal Injury Torts attorneys are so annoying. Also into paperwork. Actually all attorneys are into paperwork. They like to bury you in it. Files and paperwork and forms and memorandums. And they are weirdly proud of letters with run-on sentences, over a paragraph long. Verbose - thy name is lawyer.
I guess they have to make a living somehow?
Hope the insurance covered all of it - and it didn't cost you anything?
Get the frustration with paper - my apartment is cluttered with it, my workplace is, I feel like I'm constantly trying to get rid of paper. Go electronic - folks, it's cheaper, and less trees die. Of course I'm also inundated with email and electronic files...so maybe not.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 03:13 pm (UTC)Don't know if my insurance rates will take a hit yet. Haven't received any official notice. Crossing my fingers...
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 06:09 pm (UTC)Well, at least it has been resolved. Now you can get rid of most of the papers...?
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-01-22 08:18 am (UTC)Oh, dear... sounds like he was infected with trumpitis!
Very, very contagious, I understand, and no vaccine for it yet.
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Thanks for posting, always glad to hear from you. Not been doing too much of that myself lately, always seems like there's something else needs doing. ~sighs~
I did get one thing done though that I managed to put off for nearly three years-- Back in December, I made a calendar using some of my photos! Started it waaaaay back then, got about two months done, got distracted / delayed, then...
~sigh~
I hope to post each month here soon, stay tuned!